Australia : Mobile phone radiation fries sperm!

Evan Maloney
Monday, October 20, 2008 at 06:59pm


Well, well, well, there’s a headline to send a few jitters through the sperm banks and IVF clinics of the world.

The first thing I thought when I read this headline was, “Maybe the Nasa scientists have got it all wrong, maybe outer-space doesn’t smell like fried steak at all.”

The preliminary study, presented at a fertility conference in Brisbane today, is the first of its kind, and supports US research showing heavy mobile phone users have up to 40 per cent lower sperm counts than lighter users.

Researchers at the University of Newcastle built a device to irradiate sperm at the same radio frequency as mobile telephone calls.

I mean, really, how many dire warnings, threats and fear-mongerings have researchers been paid good money to fill out heads with over the years regarding mobile phone use. Mobile phones have been the cause of everything from brain tumours to fried sperm to hair loss to an inability to read road signs in an effective manner while driving the car. Maybe only the last one has been proved categorically. Maybe we will all die of a brain tumor in fifteen years, maybe my sperm is getting fried right now, and maybe, just maybe, this is another example of people trying to justify the money they get paid to waste everybody’s time with ridiculous research.

Building a device to irradiate sperm? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you think I shove my mobile phone down my underpants whenever I want to make a phone call to my wife? Are you nuts?

Is this just me? Do we need an S.O.S ("Save our Sperm") Foundation?